could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
