This dress was meant to end up on your floor
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My dick has a subreddit
I still have a little drunk in my system
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