Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
