we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
