they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
