I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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