Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
