Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
