remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
