Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She's the barista slut.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
