Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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