I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
