i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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