..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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