i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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