I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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