At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
