You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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