break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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