then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
