The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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