these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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