Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
