dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
