I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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