She is in my trunk
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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