One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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