they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize