I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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