I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
