So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
