Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
