its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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