I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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