worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
