We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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