he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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