can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
