Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
