yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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