She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
