oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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