wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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