Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
