Soap is not a condiment
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
