Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize