i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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