Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
