I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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