Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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