I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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