I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
