i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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