It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She said her name was "party"
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
