i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
