Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
