8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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