Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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