I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
