My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
