She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
